Relenting: Top 5 Reasons Beer is Better Than Coffee
The finals are graded and I find myself consuming fewer caffeinated stimulants and in great need of genuine relaxation. Last week, I wrote on the advantages coffee has over beer, but after both of my readers basically called me out for being a charlatan, I’ve had a slight change of heart. Without further ado…
- The Catholic historicity of beer is undeniable – Sure, Wikipedia says that beer was probably first prepared in 9,500 BC, but who trusts anything on Wikipedia, anyway? Besides, Aquinas said that where truth is, there is the Holy Spirit and if beer isn’t truth, I don’t know what is. Unquote.
- Even terrible beer tastes better a few mugs in – The headwaiter in John 2 was right to be perplexed. You can down two pints (disclosure: this is still within moderation for those of us 6’5″ and 220lbs) of Bass or Harp and love every drop. The last of two pints of econo-beer would certainly not be as bad as the first. After a liter of coffee, you’ll feel so dirty you’d feel like you need a cigarette to clean out your pores.
- Beer is more affordable than coffee – Starbucks charges $4.25 for a 12oz burnt cup of coffee, which comes out to $.35/oz ($45.33/gallon). During our later college years, Matt and I visited the Flying Saucer in Dallas which had $1.50 pitchers of Shiner Bock. From what I remember, a pitcher is about 60 ounces; I’m pretty sure I was paying less than $.03/ounce.
- You can’t eat traditional American food with coffee – “Uh, yeah, I’ll have the cheeseburger with pulled-pork and sauce on top with large mochachino latte with skim milk (I’m on a diet).” Honestly, there’s not much that could go better with a burger or hot dog (or brat, if that’s how you roll) while the kiddos run around the yard, jets from the airshow flying overhead – Ahhhhh, America.
- They make hymns out of drinking songs – C’mon. Don’t tell me that when you hear “Let There Be Peace on Earth” you don’t think of a bar full of sailors swaying and pounding their mugs.
“…and let it begin with me! SLAM SLAM SLAM! Let there be peace…”
There was some song in the ’70s that talked about everything having a season and a time to every purpose under Heaven (I think I read that somewhere…); I do recognize that each beverage has its proper place in the realm of enjoyment. The pleasure of coffee, however, is too easily tarnished by a need for it as a utility. Many-a-morning I trudge into work, knowing that I could really enjoy my coffee if I didn’t need it so darn much. In the other fist, it might be said that enjoyment of beer is in its very nature and that we should recognize it for the greater good that it is.
p.s.
And these guys:
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- PatrickCoffin.net » Yet more solid proof that beer is better than coffee - [...] Benjamin Franklin famously declared that, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” Now ...
About the Author
Andrew is honored to be husband to a truly humble and loving woman and father to their three sons. His Catholic faith led him to Benedictine College where his studies focused on Theology, Philosophy, and Psychology. Andrew is an avid fisherman and an experienced musician. Since 2008, Andrew has taught Theology at Loyola College Prep High School in Shreveport, LA.
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I beg to differ on number four. One can have coffee with everything. *Everything*. One can also have coffee in place of everything.
Good post! Pope Benedict approves!
It’s not just hymns–even the US national anthem is a poem (not intended for music) set to a drinking song.
Coffee is awful if you recently brushed your teeth (which can happen since coffee drinking often starts in the morning). Beer is never NEVER drunk after tooth-brushing, so there’s never a problem.
A caramel macchiato is really easy to screw up. A beer comes prepackaged, no assembly required.
Funny post…
But I like to smell my coffee, I don’t like to smell beer…
Hey, I’m reader number 6! Wait, Matt Sciba commented twice. Hey, I’m reader number 5!
Your conversion is cause for celebration. I’ll hoist a beer to you tonight. [Of course, I type this as I have my morning cup of coffee.]
Congratulations. Another conversion complete. To which I tip my breakfast pint.
Beer is a narcotic and is the largest selling drug in the USA. A slight overindulgence can and does cause a variety of illness–some fatal. On the other hand if you want to appear dim-witted and have a BIG BELLY (or BUTT) then drink plenty of beer and you will not be dissapointed. If you have the time read history about the fall of many great nations who were big beer consumers (and there are many). Drink a little wine for your stomach’s sake and do not over indulge (moderation)………..
Beer is not a narcotic. Its a sedative hypnotic, similar to Valium, Xanax… It can obviously cause disease in overdose, just like about every other substance known to man.
Seeing as how this is a Catholic blog, it is assumed that the OP refers to beer in moderation.
Many great nations fall for many reasons. Nearly all of them wore footwear. Does that mean footwear was the downfall? Certainly not. Lots of them had women, does that mean women are the downfall? Possibly, just look at scripture!
Might I also point out that the Rituale Romanum provides a blessing for beer, while providing nothing similar for coffee:
http://catholic-beer-review.blogspot.com/2008/07/blessing-of-beer-from-rituale-romanum.html
I love it.